Chapter XVII

Harry sat down in Professor Trelawney’s chair, slouching in it until he was half perched on the chair. Occlumency was much harder than he remembered. And it was only the first lesson. The one thing that got him through was knowing that he had to come here for Animagus training afterwards. Sora had been more than willing to shift it to Saturday nights regularly. So he found himself here early, trying to shake the memories of the Occlumency lesson.

Having Snape prying into his thoughts like that was far from fun. Harry's head hurt and he felt like it had done more damage than good, despite Snape saying that he certainly yelled and flailed a lot less and focused more on expelling him. There was no way that Harry could allow Snape to see some of the things in mind. He rubbed the bridge of his nose; he'd asked Snape for the training. He would not let Voldemort manipulate him like last time. He wouldn't lose someone else close to him because he rushed off headlong to save someone.

All week, he had practicing transforming. At least he saw some definite results with that. And everyday, he got a bit further. Last night, he had felt his bones start to shift and change. He had abruptly stopped it and morphed back into human form. Tonight was the night he would change, he could feel it.

"My, you're here early." Sora's voice echoed around the room as she walked in. "A full half an hour early. How did the Occlumency go?"

"Dreadfully." Harry replied honestly. "I think Snape has new blackmail material against me."

Sora chuckled. "I'm sure you have something on him."

"I wish I could say yes." Harry said dryly. He gave her a grin. "Guess what?"

"What?" Sora asked with a replying grin.

"I think I can change fully tonight."

"Really?" Sora sat down on a desk cross-legged, resting her hands on her ankles. "That's good. And a full two weeks before Christmas break too."

Harry nodded, sitting placidly in the chair. Sora frowned slightly, watching Harry as the minutes ticked by.

"Well?" she demanded in an impatient voice.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to?"

"To what?" Harry asked with innocent look; this was rather fun.

"Change!" Sora said testily.

"Oh, I suppose I could," Harry said rising from the chair finally and walking out into the small clear space in the classroom.

"Merlin, I do find myself wondering why you aren't in Slytherin sometimes." Sora muttered to herself.

"I heard that." Harry said in a good natured voice.

"Oh, just get on with it." Sora mumbled, crossing her arms.

Harry didn't say anything else as he closed his eyes. He allowed the tingling to spread over his skin and down, through his flesh, to his very bones. It tickled a bit at first as the fur started to sprout up fast, and his ears started to shift and grow upwards and out. Then the gradual, and intense, pain started as his bones started to lengthen out, reshaping themselves. His arms and legs lengthened while his spine bent and stretched out, making his body longer, and sprouting a tail. His hands and feet grew larger, the nails curving while soft pink pads formed on the bottom, while his ribcage widened more. His mouth felt horrendous, as if he was growing an entirely new set of teeth. The fur was growing in faster now, and it felt itchy like hell. This continued on for a few minutes and then it all abruptly ended. Harry looked around. He certainly didn't feel any different.

It took a few minutes, but the tingling stopped. Harry blinked and looked around. Everything certainly was different. Where there had been colour, everything was in black and white. He sniffed and shook his head with a whimper; the stink of incense was suddenly much sharper and easier to smell. It made his head hurt. Wait a moment; did he just shake his head? With a whimper?

"Holy Merlin's ghost..."

He swung his head around to see Sora staring at him in amazement. He opened his mouth to say ‘What it is?’ but found a plaintive whine coming from his throat. A whimper, and then a whine? Just what the hell had he turned in- Oh, oh, he smelled something else now. Something tasty that made his stomach rumble with hunger. He started sniffing around, coming up to Trelawney’s desk. It was in a drawer; a locked drawer. He whined again and scratched at it, nose sniffing madly; it sure smelled good, whatever was in this tiny thing. His mouth was watering already. Long scratch marks were left in the wood.

“Oh shit. Harry, what did you do?” she pulled out her wand and opened the drawer. “Jeez, she left a ham sandwich in here. Is this what you want?”

Harry gave a bark and his tongue started lolling out his mouth. He wanted the sandwich; he was hungry! Sora frowned as she gave him the sandwich. He swallowed it in one bite. That was it? He had thought there would be more meat on it. Maybe there was something else to eat in the room. He started sniffing around, wandering away from the desk. Sora cursed and then muttered some words before walking after him.

“Harry, snap out of it,” Sora said. “You need to change back now before you become too immersed in this state.”

Harry gave a low snarl as he flicked some desks aside with his paw. Where was the food? He was hungry! He wanted something to eat, preferably now.

“Harry! I said snap out of it!” Sora said in a commanding tone as she walked in front of him and grabbed him by the ear. She yanked his face in close, glaring at him. “Snap out of it and change back now. Not a few minutes from now, right this instant.”

Harry gave her a whined and looked at her in resignation; fine; she’d asserted herself as the alpha female. Better do as she said before she did something he really regretted. He looked her straight in the eye, willing his body to shift back to its human shape. It took him a bit longer since he was reluctant, but a few minutes later, he was standing in front of Sora, hunched slightly as she still had a grip on his ear.

"Can you let go of my ears now?" he asked; even though he changed back, it still hurt like hell.

"Yes." Sora said releasing them.

"Thank you. That hurt!" Harry said, rubbing at them gingerly.

"I was starting to lose you," Sora said. "I had to do something. Sorry if I grabbed them too hard. I think the first order of business is to clean up."

Harry looked back at the flipped desks. There were quite a few of them. He nodded and took his wand out, righting everything in a few seconds. He ambled down to Trelawney's desk, surprised by what he saw. Deep inch wide gouges were slashed across the drawer. He looked back to find Sora standing right behind him.

"I did that?"

"Yes, you did."

"What the hell did I turn into? Those things are massive!" Harry exclaimed, staring at the gouges once more.

"Indeed." Sora made a fluid motion like she was painting, incanting something. The wood pieces on the floor flew back up and the desk looked like nothing had scratched at it. "I don't know exactly what you turned into, but suffice it to say that-"

Sora stopped talking as she heard the classroom door creak open. Harry looked up to see Snape's black figure enter the room and start down to the front. Harry suddenly found his wand very interesting. He listened as Snape's steps sounded softly against the floor before coming to a stop, turning the length of holly over in his fingers.

"I trust everything is going well?" Snape asked.

"Yes. Harry changed tonight." Sora said a bit brightly. "If that isn't good, I don't know what is."

Harry glanced up to find Snape giving him a mildly impressed look. Harry was thoroughly confused now. First Snape was pissing mad at him and now this? He wasn't about to ask at the moment. "Is there something you want, Sir?"

Snape nodded. "I need you."

Harry paused for a moment quite sure he had finally lost it. "I beg your pardon?"

Snape closed his eyes, obviously thinking over what he said. "Dumbledore requests your presence in his office."

"At," Harry glanced at his watch. "Midnight? On the first of December?"

"I don't think it needs to be said that our Headmaster is quite," Snape paused before speaking again, delicately. "Eccentric."

Harry and Sora gave snort; that was an understatement. Harry nodded his head, looking at Sora. "We'll do some research on the weekend?"

"Undoubtedly." Sora affirmed. "You two had better get going. Shouldn't keep Dumbledore waiting."

"Hm," Snape said. "Shall we?"

Harry nodded and quickly made his way out of the classroom. Snape followed after Harry, not saying anything. They made their way down to the second floor, heading for the gargoyle in the empty corridor.

"Skittles," Snape said, stepping up on the first step once the gargoyle moved aside. "Whatever those are."

"A Muggle candy. Fruit flavoured. A bit too sweet." Harry remarked offhandedly, stopping on the fourth step.

Snape gave Harry gave look, but did say anything. Harry looked upwards, felt his face go bright red and looked down abruptly, fiddling with the sleeve cuff of his robe. Snape really did have a nice arse. No, he was here to see Dumbledore; he shouldn't be thinking about Snape's arse, nice as it was. That was it; he really needed to get a boyfriend. And stop thinking about Snape’s arse. The same familiar mess greeted Harry, Fawkes chirping lightly as he walked into Dumbledore's office after Snape. Dumbledore smiled when he saw him, gesturing to a seat. Harry sat down easily enough. Snape chose to remain standing.

"Harry, I do apologize for asking to see you this late. This seems to be the only bit of free time I have." Dumbledore said, holding a bowl of candy forward. "Lemon sherbet?"

Harry shook his head politely. "What did you want to talk about?"

"How have you been?" Dumbledore asked.

"Well enough. Getting schoolwork done, reading the paper when I get the chance. Speaking of which, I am a bit puzzled as to why nothing has shown up concerning the accusation of Pettigrew, or the death of a respected member of a foreign community."

Dumbledore nodded, pressing his fingertips together as he reclined back in his seat. "It was quite a brilliant plan that you five concocted. It is unfortunate that Voldemort was able to place a spy in the Ministry to counteract that."

"In a position that required a direct liaison with the Daily Prophet, undoubtedly. A missed Death Eater?" Harry suggested.

Dumbledore nodded. "A Mr. Sutcliffe. He was fixing the reports so it seemed less severe to Fudge. Alexandre didn't know what he was up against, or even at what level, so his efforts were of little avail."

"And Lucius couldn't do anything without betraying himself to Voldemort." Harry said simply. "And Kingsley and Mr. Weasley are in completely different sections of the Ministry all together, so there was very little they could do about it."

Dumbledore didn’t say anything for a moment, glancing at Snape. “Very perceptive deductions, Harry." Dumbledore paused. "I need you to tell me exactly everything you saw again. Leave nothing out."

"All right," Harry said, quelling a small surge of irritation. Must he relive that horrid scene and that sadistic song of Leiko's again?

Harry quickly recounted everything he saw and heard. The room was silent for a few minutes, as Dumbledore was thoughtful.

"Thank you Harry." Dumbledore said wearily. "This is certainly much worse than we thought. Voldemort has been recruiting followers much faster than before and currently has a good amount-”

“A good amount being a fraction or a good portion of the forces he once had?” Harry asked, interrupting Dumbledore.

“A good portion I am afraid; a little over half,” Dumbledore answered. “But with nothing from Severus, or my other spies, to corroborate this, and Voldemort not doing anything, there is very little I can do to ensure the leaving students safety.”

Harry didn’t say anything for a moment. He felt like a tightly coiled spring. “What do you mean th-”

“Do you mean to tell me that with the Christmas Break coming up soon, he might have even more people to swell his ranks?” Severus interjected.

Dumbledore gave a sad little nod. Harry sank back into his seat.

“There must be something the Order can do,” Snape said. “Lucius and I can go to the next meeting and-.”

“Are you insane?!” Harry rounded on him. “For all we know, that meeting could be to deal with the other traitors Voldemort knows about. If you and Lucius go, there’s a good chance that you both won’t come back. And where does that leave us? Where does that leav-” Harry cut himself off before he finished that sentence and horribly embarrassed himself.

“Harry does raise a valid point Severus,” Dumbledore said. “However, all the work you and Lucius have done for me has been voluntary, so I find myself in no position to forbid you both from going, thought I do highly recommend it.”

Harry opened his mouth, glad to forbid Snape from going at all, but stopped once he saw the look Dumbledore gave him. He sat in his seat, curling his fingers over the ends of the armrests. “Has the Order been recruiting as well?”

Dumbledore nodded his head. “Indeed we have been. But we have no where near the number that Voldemort has at the moment.”

“We’re outnumbered at least three to one.” Snape said quietly.

“Merlin, that’s just great.” Harry mumbled. “Is this all you wanted to tell me, Sir?” Harry asked, looking at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore looked distinctly uncomfortable now. “Perhaps-”

“Albus.” Snape said quietly.

“Quite right Severus, quite right,” Dumbledore said with a heavy sigh. “Harry, it is more than likely that Voldemort will attack and there will be a battle within the year, probably sooner than we expect. I would be highly surprised if Hogwarts doesn’t see a battle.”

“I think I siege might be more like it,” Harry said. “With all the wards on Hogwarts, it’ll probably become a battle if we take the fight to him.”

"Perhaps the rest should wait until-" Dumbledore began.

"Are you going to turn this into a repeat of last time Albus?" Snape said quietly, cutting off Dumbledore. "I warned you. Tell him now. Don't let your sentimentality get in the way. It did last time."

"The rest of what?" Harry asked, looking between Snape and Dumbledore. "What should you have told me, Headmaster?"

Dumbledore looked pained now. "About your scar and about what will more than likely happen to you."

"And what will happen to me?" Harry asked in a tight voice; his stomach felt like it was filled with snakes this time; roiling, curling snakes that were trying to bite their way out savagely.

"The scar on your forehead links you to Voldemort," Dumbledore said wearily. "And from all indications, this link has only grown deeper with each passing year. He can see into your mind and you into his. You feel one another's emotions and such. Your minds are linked and there are times when one can control the other, creating rather grey, uncertain area. There is no easy way to say this, Harry."

"Then just say it." Harry managed in between clenched teeth; he felt like he was sitting on pins.

"Because of the scar, you two are linked permanently. The only way it can be broken, is if one dies." Dumbledore didn't say anything for a moment. "But the body cannot exist with the mind. If Voldemort dies, and since your minds are so linked, or mixed together, there is a good chance that you will die as well. If, by some chance, you do manage to survive, it is more than likely that you will be comatose."

Harry sat there, not saying anything for a moment. His fingers curled around the ends of the armrests on the chair so tightly, his knuckles turned white. "Excuse me?"

Dumbledore sighed heavily. "The chances of you surviving, should you end up confronting Voldemort, are very slim."

"How slim?" Harry ground out. "Eighty percent?"

"Ninety two." Dumbledore corrected. "Ninety two percent."

"I see." Harry said. He remained seated before he rose abruptly. "Excuse me." he started for the stairwell.

"Harry," Dumbledore called after him.

"Don't you think that's enough for him to absorb at the moment Albus?"

Harry felt a bit grateful that Snape had been there. His steps echoed against the stone steps. When he reached the second floor, he sat down on the marble staircase, holding his head in between his hands. After a few moments, he heard the rustle of cloth and saw Snape seat himself beside Harry.

"What do you want?" Harry asked in a deadpan voice.

"Nothing." Snape replied after a few moments.

"Bullshit." Harry said. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be here."

Snape didn't say anything for a moment. "I was expecting something very different in there."

Harry shrugged. "They want me to die. What else is new? They're always asking for something; namely to be the 'Golden-Boy-Who-Will-One-Day-Defeat-Voldemort'. Why not ask for my life,” Harry sighed and rubbed his face briskly with his hands. “Can't someone not have some stupid, wretched expectation of me? I would like to have a life of my own."

"That’s a perfectly reasonable request."

"Then why the hell is that that only a few people can see that. You, Sora, Draco, Ron; that’s not many people, when I stop and think about it."

Snape didn't say anything for a moment, reaching for something. When Harry felt something nudge him in the side, he looked down to see Snape holding out a leather bound journal.

"Yes, you may take it." Snape said in a slightly amused voice. There was certainly a faint smile on Snape's face.

Harry reached forward and closed his fingers around it slowly. He opened and looked through it dumbly, noting the blank pages, black quill and green marker ribbon. He snapped it close and then looked up at Snape. "What is your deal?"

"My deal?"

"You hate my father, and you hate me. That I can understand. But lately, everything has just been plain weird. It’s appreciated, but nonetheless weird, given the former nature of our...relationship. You're...nice to me. You're not some insufferable greasy git. Well, it's not that I think you're greasy; I don't think you're greasy at all, but you've certainly been less of a git when you want to be. Or you'll treat me like total crap. What the hell is your deal? You can’t keep yo-yoing around like this."

Snape didn't say anything for a moment, studying his fingers. "Even I don't know."

"Come again?" Harry asked in disbelief. "You don't know?"

"Yes, that's what I said." Snape said. "I don't know."

"I see." Harry leaned in a bit more. "And why exactly don't you know?"

"How the bloody hell am I supposed to know?" Snape asked, leaning away slightly.

Harry leaned away, chuckling. Before long, he was sitting on the stair, sides quaking with silent laughter. When he looked back up, Snape was looking at him as if he was completely barmy. "Tell me Professor, why don't you know?"

"I just said." Snape said in slight irritation.

Harry leaned in again. "Enlighten me once more."

"I said I don't know," Snape said in a patient voice as he leaned away. "How many times do I have to say it?"

"Tell me Professor, Harry asked in a low voice, leaning in a bit more. “Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?" Snape leaned away a bit more.

"Moving away from me like that. Trying to...distance yourself from me." Harry scooted in a bit closer to Snape, a slight smile on his face. "What are you trying to hide?"

"Nothing!" Snape spluttered as he found his back against the stair railing.

"What happened to your distant demeanour, Professor?" Harry purred, moving in a bit more. "It seems to have completely evaporated. What have been hiding from me?"

"Nothing!" Snape repeated again.

"The same argument twice," Harry tsked slightly. "I find myself oddly disappointed." he allowed his eyes to flick over Snape's body. "I was expecting more from you...Severus."

Snape had a strange expression in his eyes, one Harry couldn't quite place. Harry leaned in a bit more, a full smile curving his lips.

"Perhaps you should go to your dorm now," Snape managed as he closed his eyes. "You've heard a lot tonight, and you need to give it time to sink in."

Harry could have sworn he heard a tremor in Snape's voice. And he was leaning in so close now that he was only a few centimetres away from Snape. Why the hell not? His day had already gone to hell in five minutes. Why not do it? It would only last a few seconds, Harry would have something he had only fantasized about, Snape would go back to hating him and Harry would have a semblance of what he once knew back. So he did it.

He leaned in further and kissed Snape full on the lips.

Snape's lips were softer than he expected them to be. They lay, unmoving for a moment beneath Harry’s before they responded, with a quite a bit of force; more than Harry had expected. He groaned as Snape's arms slid around him and he flicked his tongue against Snape's lips. Snape complied easily, allowing Harry's tongue to enter. Harry left the journal in his lap and buried his fingers in Snape's hair, increasing the pressure behind their kiss. Snape broke off for a moment, nipping Harry's lower lip lightly. A slight gasp escaped from Harry's lips.

"I think it's sinking in," he managed, pressing himself against Snape's body.

Snape gave a low moan as his hand slithered between them, and cast the journal away before he resumed kissing Harry very thoroughly. Harry felt like his brain would overload from pleasure. Snape's hands against his back, that tongue mimicking motions reserved for hips and...oh god, Snape was moving onto his neck now, sucking, biting, and nipping. Harry was certainly going to die from pleasure. Forget being done in by Voldemort, he'd much rather go this way.

They both stopped abruptly, looking upwards when they heard a faint mewing sound echo downwards. When it came again, Harry scrambled off of Snape, scooping up the journal and he started running up the stairs. He paused when he was halfway up, looking back down.

"Um...thanks for the journal." he managed a bit breathlessly.

"Harry," Snape called up.

Harry looked over the railing. "Yes...Professor?"

"Detention for wandering the hallways after curfew." Snape said before he promptly disappeared down the stairs.

He didn't stop until he was safely in the Gryffindor common room. Harry couldn't stop the goofy smile that spread over his face as he looked down at the journal and ran his fingers across the smooth leather surface. He made his way up to his bed, opening the door slowly, not wanting to disturb the others in his room. He changed and slid into bed, still holding the journal.

He lit the tip of his wand and opened the journal one handed, catching the quill in between his fingers. Holding the cover down with his fist, Harry made an experimental scratch. Ink flowed out onto the page. He quickly wrote out the date, and then 'From S.S. to H.P.'. He regarded it for a moment before he closed it and placed it in the top drawer of his night table and locked it. Outing the light from his wand, he took off his glasses and placed them on the table beside his wand.

And for the first time in a long while, he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

With a yawn, Harry shuffled into the bathroom, running a hand through his hair. It was Sunday morning and Harry was actually up early for once, instead of sleeping in. He'd woken up and had changed into some black slacks and a wifebeater before he realized he hadn't brushed his teeth yet. So he made his way down to the bathroom to fix that. He blinked as he entered, seeing Ron standing in front of the mirror, fully dressed, with a bored expression and brushing his teeth.

"Morning," Harry yawned, reaching for his own toothbrush.

"Morning," Ron said glancing at him before he returned to brushing his teeth.

Harry picked up his brush and squeezed out a dollop of toothpaste and spread it around on his teeth and gums, scrubbing lightly. The toothpaste was magical and did most of the heavy brushing for you. After spitting it out, he rinsed and looked back up, deciding to work on his hair next. That was when he noticed Ron gaping at him, his mouth still filled with fizzing toothpaste foam.

"Ron, I don't want to see that in the morning," Harry made a face. "Would you close your mouth?"

"What in Merlin's name happened to your neck?" Ron exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger.

"What are you talking about?" Harry didn't see anything wrong with it.

"Right here!" Ron said, brushing aside a long curl of Harry's hair.

"Oh shit! It looks like someone took a Hoover to my neck!" he was gaping at the huge hickey that graced that particular spot on the nape of his neck. He vowed to make sure he got more decent haircuts in the future; he hadn't even noticed his hair had gotten that long.

"I don't know who the hell Hoover is," Ron said. "But you better use a charm to hide it before people start asking questions."

"Yeah, can't exactly let my hair hide it, now can I?" Harry said dryly as he dragged a comb through the tangled mess. He slid his wand out of his pocket and cast a simple Glamourie charm, effectively hiding the massive red spot.

"So," Ron said with something of a lewd grin. "Did you sneak out for a midnight snog session?"

"Ron!" Harry said, his face going a bit red. "Look at this, I turn as red as you now."

"Welcome to my hell," Ron said easily. "You must have had a good time. Did you see the size of that thing!?"

"All too well," Harry said as he checked his hair once more. Still as messy as always. He started out of the bathroom. "Can we drop it, please?"

"All right, all right. I shouldn't bother you about it." Ron was still grinning his face off. "But it is your first hickey."

Harry opened his mouth to protest but realized he couldn't. Ron was right; this was his first hickey. He felt his face go a bit redder and he simply grunted in reply. Ron chuckled as they entered their room once more.

"Don't forget, we have Quidditch practice tonight. Dean wants everyone to get some in before the break. We'll only have a week when we get back before the Gryffindor Ravenclaw game." Ron said, snapping the covers over his bed.

"When are we going to face the Slytherins?" Harry mused, digging through his chest for a crisp button down white shirt. When he found it, he slid into it easily, doing up the buttons and fixing the cuffs before shrugging into his robes.

"Who knows?" Ron said with a shrug. "It'll probably be sometime in April. With all that rain that normally comes, it's bound to be like the Hufflepuff game in October."

"Great," Harry sighed. "Driving rain and a howling wind that could deafen anybody. You doing anything today?"

Ron nodded. "Me and Hermione are going down to Hogsmeade. There is a trip down later on in the day. I thought you knew about it."

"Honestly no. Busy with my work and Animagus practice. Hey, I didn't tell you. I changed completely yesterday."

"Won't that make 'Mione work harder." Ron chuckled. "What did you turn into?"

"We don't know yet." Harry said a shrug.

"You don't know?" Ron looked at Harry like he was crazy. "How can you not know?!"

"Well, we don't. Sora was the only one who saw, so I figure we'll do some research and all." Harry paused. "Er Ron, about Christmas-"

"Oh, don't worry about that. In the last letter Mum sent me, she wanted to know the address for Whytemoor Manor. She figures you're staying there for Christmas and she wants to send you the usual sweater...jumper...whatever she's knitting this year." Ron grinned. "And Hermione knows as well. Hermione said she'll stay with me this year."

"There's one less thing to worry about." Harry mused to himself. "You ready to get breakfast?"

"What kind of question is that?" Ron laughed as he started for the stairs down into the common room. "I'm always ready to eat!"

"Good point," Harry laughed. "Is there anything you and Hermione need from Hogsmeade?"

"I could use some more...scented stationary." Ron blushed. "'Mione likes it when I write her mushy letters."

"Scented stationary," Harry said with a straight face as they exited the Gryffindor rooms and started down the stairs for the Great Hall. "Anything else?"

"Hermione keeps saying that she's been meaning to look in the bookstore," Ron mused. You may as well get her a book for Christmas. I think is the last trip before the break."

"Better do some Christmas shopping then," Harry said with a grin. "Anything you want for Christmas?"

"Not particularly." Ron paused. "But you know what I'd really like to know?"

"Ron-" Harry began but stopped when Ron held up a hand for silence.

"What I'd like to know is how Hoover could have given you such a big hickey."

Harry stopped walking and watched Ron before he broke out laughing. Ron looked completely puzzled.

"What did I say that was so funny?" Ron asked in a bewildered voice.

"When you see Hermione, ask her what a Hoover is." Harry chuckled. "Then you'll get it."

When Darkness Comes - Chapter Sixteen || When Darkness Comes - Chapter Eighteen